I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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