I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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