no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
