I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
