Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The air taste purple.
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