Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
