he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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