she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
