when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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