My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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