i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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