I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
