Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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