I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
