who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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