A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize