The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
