My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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