I look better un-naked...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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