So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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