i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
