nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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