the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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