I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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