hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
