If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm passing your future prison.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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