I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
