the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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