All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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