That's intense
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
FUCK WHALES
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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