he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
