Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
