youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
