Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So much rum. So many feels.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's shark week go big or go home
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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