I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
