Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
