FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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