just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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