no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't deserve a penis
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize