you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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