I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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