At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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