Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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