You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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