I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
