when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
