I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
