I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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