two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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