I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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