I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
