I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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