Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
