Your mouth is God's brothel.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize