No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
