So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
