this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
