I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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