we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
