I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
